zondag 16 september 2012
Magpie Tale 135: Venus and the sailor
The loveless sea takes me away.
The skies and waters hide my home.
I think all night, I think all day:
Why must I on this ocean roam?
On the horizon clouds do form.
The sea turns white, the skies turns black.
The gentle breeze becomes a storm.
The noble ship becomes a wreck.
You hold me up, you calm the sea.
you take my fear, you dance with me.
This is Magpie Tale 135
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I particularly like your final couplet. Everyone needs someone like that.
BeantwoordenVerwijderenThank you Mary
VerwijderenThe loveless sea...I never thought of the sea in this light before...very nice...
BeantwoordenVerwijderenThank you Tess
Verwijdereni want more of this...very lyrical...i think you could double it and make a great song...really great imagery as well....
BeantwoordenVerwijderenThank you Brian
VerwijderenLyrical, yes ... quite lovely as well.
BeantwoordenVerwijderenThank you Helen
VerwijderenI quite liked this one. Thanks.
BeantwoordenVerwijderen=)
Thank you Sue
VerwijderenHow lovely that a dance reverses the dark aura of the poem, the depression and lonliness you describe beautifully. I like your disciplined form, rhyme scheme and the near rhyme of "black" and "wreck".
BeantwoordenVerwijderenThank you Ann
VerwijderenI am a bit afraid of "big" water, so I liked "loveless sea" and he ending is beautiful in its taking fear away.
BeantwoordenVerwijderenThank you Margaret
VerwijderenNothing shipwrecked about your poem. :) Nice Mag.
BeantwoordenVerwijderenBut it took me FIVE goes to find a word verification I could read, let alone type! Can you not be kind to comment leavers and remove it? I promise, the sky won't fall in if you do!
word verification? leavers? I understand the part about the sky
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